Friday, January 06, 2006

My depression

God I feel like a dark curtain is hanging over me. I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings, I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything. Today is my first day back in the office since last Friday, I can't keep doing this my paychecks just can't handle it!  The hardest part about all of this is that I don't know how to cope with it.  I know there are people I can talk to but I don't really know what to say. 

I feel like shit!  I am tired of going through the motions of life each and every day!  I want to be used by God to do great things with our college group but I don't know how the fuck to motivate them to do anything!  I am tired of being fat but I can't seem to find the will power to exercise more than I do! 

These are all just a sampling of what's going on inside of me right now...oh and to top it all off I get to watch my father slowly die for the next 6-10 months.  I want to have a talk with him about God and the abundant life and all of that, but I'm not even sure what the hell that means! 

I don't like feeling this way but I can't see any light in front me.


No comments: